Good things come in threes...

So I had a chat with my friend Scott today:

Jake: I'm sorry if I missed you, I'm still a bit dazed from yesterday
Scott: what happened yesterday? other than prop 2
Jake: Well, with 100% of precincts reporting in, we've discovered that 76% of Texans are f***heads.

Jake: I for one intend to be the first to take a leak on Chisum's grave
Jake: I don't know if that's the anger and hurt talking or my innate sense of poetic justice:
Jake: "Don't piss on my shoe and tell me it's raining"
Jake: which is not to be confused with: "We're only trying to protect traditional marriage"
Jake: B
Jake: S
Jake: you don't like gay people, just say it, it's not going to hurt our feelings. Oh! We'll take turns!
Jake: Mr. Chisum, you're a short little sprite of a man who looks like he might enjoy a bit of sodomy one in a while

Scott: lol traditional marriage... u mean where women marry men because society puts them in a position where they cant survive on their own?
Scott: i thought THAT was the marriage we were trying to get away from!
Jake: oh gosh no!
Jake: we want women subjugated!
Jake: and for proof, let me show you the 18 passages in the Holy Book
Jake: that endorse my position
Scott: lol
Jake: which I totally oppose being able to quote the Bible for evidentiary support
Jake: it's not like I can pick up an issue of OUT or The Advocate
Jake: and start quoting random bits as reasons we should do this and that
Scott: lol
Scott: but silly
Scott: god didn't write OUT
Jake: oh
Jake: and I suppose God is that smelly hippy sitting in that corner cafe in Paris
Jake: frantically typing away
Scott: blasphemer!
Jake: PLEASE
Jake: any idiot knows the Bible was written by men here on Earth
Jake: and the whole New Testament was written by Jesus' friends
Jake: we all know what happens when our friends tell stories about us…
Jake: they tend to exaggerate
Scott: lol
Jake: Disciple #1: “And there was this one time...Jesus just walked out on the water"
Jake: Disciple #2: “No way man! You're totally smoking dope if you think I'm gonna believe that one."
Jake: Disciple #1: “Yes way dude! I saw it with my own two eyes! Swear to Jesus' dad."
Scott: it was probably a f***ing sand bar or something
Scott: lol
Jake: I think it was an elaborate array of mirrors
Jake: ...or Jesus was an alien
Jake: one of the two
Scott: or maybe he was some descendent of a higher power who was begotten by a woman who claims to have never actually had contact with the second zygote that is needed for the procreation that this higher power himself invented
Scott: ...
Scott: naw ur right, aliens sounds more likely
Jake: haha

Scott made me laugh a little. High five, Scott. High five.